my mouth tastes like poor choices
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
