You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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