I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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