Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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