my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
