Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
