Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
