I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
