drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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