my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
