I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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