Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If I die, sorry about rent.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
