Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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