How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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