But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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