Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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