Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
