I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
