so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
