i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
