I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
