Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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