well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
