Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize