you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You're like the curious george of whores
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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