He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
