There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
