i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
