I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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