I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
