And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
