Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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