Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
