You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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