I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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