And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
