i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
