One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
