i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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