I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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