I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
