If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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