I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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