You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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