Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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