apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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