just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
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You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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