Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
