two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
