I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
