I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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