She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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