Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
