taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
