I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
