PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
