billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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