Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
