I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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