It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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