Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
