Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This baby is an asshole
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
