Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
