Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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