Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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