my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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