If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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