Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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