I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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