Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
